My doctor told me I need to be kissing more people

I don't have cancer!!

The appointment was pretty much a waste of time. The doctor just wanted to tell me in person so I would know that her news was 'not a big deal'.

What she told me is that I do not have the Epstein Barr virus (EBV, not to be confused with the Ebola Virus). This would normally be a good thing except when it comes to transplant, because the majority of the general population have the virus, it means most likely I will be getting a set of lungs with the virus. If I contracted the virus under normal circumstances, it would not be a big deal but as I will be on a butt-load of anti-rejection meds post-transplant, I will have no immune system to fight off the virus.

So if I get a set of lungs with the virus (which I probably will), there is a 5-10% chance that it will lead to Post Transplant Lymphoproliferative disorder (...I made her write it down for me) which is a lymphoma-like condition. It would be treatable but it would mean lowering my anti-rejection meds which is never a good thing.

The best course of action would be for me to catch the EBV now while I still have a bit of an immune system. It is possible that I am immune to the virus, the same way some people are immune to HIV or the Bubonic plague. EBV is transmitted by kissing people so it is obvious that I did not make out with enough people before I 'settled down'.

I'm not worried about this news because 1) I need to actually have the transplant 2) I might get lungs without the EBV 3) Even if I do get lungs with EBV, I might be immune to the virus and 4) Even if I'm not immune, there is only a 5-10% chance it will lead to cancer. The Dr just had to tell me so post-transplant if I get lymphoma, I'm not wondering why no one told me it would be a possibility. It just adds to my post-transplant list of "cancers to watch for" along with skin and colon.

I think the best preventative option is to have a raunchy night out at the Dome.  It is for my health. I will make T-shirts "Kiss me so I don't get cancer".